Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
