please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Randomize
