Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
