I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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