3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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