Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
