he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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