My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We have started to decorate penises.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
