he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
