I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
