I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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