got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
