Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
