roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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