But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
