Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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