Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
