it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize