I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
