I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
