the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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