Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize