The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
