the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Green mimosas i think yes
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
