me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
