it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
