Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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