Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I need water and some morals
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize