I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
