Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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