I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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