Soap is not a condiment
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
