Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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