Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
