I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
