Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
