Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
