Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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