I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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