that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
