maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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