ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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