Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
