I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
