nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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