i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
