You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
