No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
