I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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