Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize