The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
