I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the condom got lost in my hair
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
