when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
