Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
