I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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